Why is it that when I wake from nightmares with tendrils of cigarette smoke and stale beer still sinuously curling in my head that C feels the need to also wake up and get in my face, also smelling like cig smoke and stale beer? How is this supposed to comfort me, to chase away the demons? It doesn't ... and it doesn't help when he decides he's now awake too and sits and stares at me as I try in some convoluted way to purge my brain of those demons that still have easy access to my sleeping head.
This morning the lyrics of an old country song are flitting through
Digging up bones
I'm digging up bones
Exhuming things that's better left alone
I'm resurrecting memories that are better dead and gone
but tonight I'm sitting alone digging up bones
actually I'm pretty sure those are paraphrased or altered at some points but yeah, you get my drift ... and now with an audience my brain shuts down. Odd that I don't seem to be able to write unless I'm alone in the house or unless I'm the only person awake in the house ... but maybe not odd ... I need I deserve privacy and I have none here
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